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jayne cobb's diary

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i need to come out [13 Nov 2005|11:29pm]
deer dyary

i dont git womenfolk. I was talking to kayle and zoe and simon, all nice-like, and they were sayin how it was cao how we ain't got no real food in months, only the proteen stuff. And i said, "well at least we aint got a bigass reaver spike thruw our chests" and, gorram it i was just tryng to cheer them up, but kayle starts crying, and that damn well sets doc off, and then zoe lockd me in this here cubard.

mal, iffin yure reading this, kin you let me out? river keeps pushin lit matches under the doorcrak. I suspect she mite be a touch pyromanical.

can;t see in the dark so good in here, but I found somethin kind of soft and bendy. I wonder if its eatable?

from jayne
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[07 Nov 2005|09:09pm]
deer diry

today I found a bug. I et it.

from jayne
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i'm back [05 Sep 2005|10:49pm]
deer diry,

you know when ur bored, and you sees a littel hole in a crayte and you think it mite be intrestin to see if you ken fit ur head in it?

It ain't intrestin.

mal thort it were hylarius and wernt no help. doc said he wold try an' extrikate me. i told him to quit bein stupid, that i werent up fer buggerin with my hed stuk in a crayte. then he jist up an' left and river put penut buter on my ears, whitch dint help none, but I was gratful fer the sentient.

also, i got told i has to say ten thins i lik;

1. mony

2. sexin

3. killin

4. vera

5. not craytes

cant think of no mor.

from jayne
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two entrys today [30 Aug 2005|11:50pm]
deer diry,

mal sed I got a little man in me, tryin to meke potery come out. I sed he gorram beter git out fore i use my nife and git him out meself.

anyhow, I figurd later he ment a not real man, so i thort mebbe I oughta give it a try. it took me few days but I finally got somthin nice.

MY POERM: by jayne cobb

i like guns
i like buns
i rilly like guns.

from jayne.
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[30 Aug 2005|11:01pm]
dere dyry,

today I ett some food river git me. tasted like salt, and chewy, and not rilly like food, which was worrisome for a time, but i figur i ought to not be looking a horse gift up the nose or nothin.

doc aint buggerd me yet, he says he aint buggerin no troglodyte goes an eats rivers therapy playdow.

now i know i aint small, but i kent fer the life of me figur why he thinks im a dinosor.

from jayne
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[29 Aug 2005|10:19pm]
deer direy,

unsettlin ruttin news.emosimonthe shiny haired and fancyble one and with_my_brainthe bugruttin crazy one got direys on here to. i aint shur what to do, i mite settel fer thinkin ill thaugts about mal's sheep fetish, until river gos mental over it. that ouwt to ocupy them both fer abit, at least until I can figur meself a way to hide my thorts about zoes pecker.

cus, gorramit, she ken hurt me. I seen it befor.

from jayne.


Oh gorramit, ilovemyshipmals here too.
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[29 Aug 2005|03:47pm]
deer diry,

I made meself a new frend. her name is safron, and she's reel perky lookin. she tried kilin us all, but I think thats jist her way.

i think mebbe i'l save up fer a slinky dres, jist in case she comes bak fer a visit somtime. I was gunna chip in fer zoe to git one, but she sed she'd hurt me or somthin or other, and I aint into that kinky stuf in the bunkroom. also, I aint entyrely convinsed zoe dont have a pecker, and ther aint nothin rong with peckers or nothin, especial if they belong to prity mouthed doctors, but that kind of thing in a slinky dres is jist downrite perplexeratin.

from jayne
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mal [27 Aug 2005|02:18pm]
der dyary,

its not like he aint a good capn, mostly. I jist think Id be a beter one. sides, I think mals hot fer sheep that ken do triks like stand up. and I aint saying each to ther own, but what happns when he brings them things on bord and we run outa food? ther wil be teers at the eatin tabel, and thers no comin bak from that.

mebbe I'll git him with my rainstik

doc stil hasnt goten my hints about buggerin even thouh i pul his hair, like evry gorram time he gose past.

he jist cals me an engorami, and othr made up wrds

i think he might be lyin about the very smrt thing.

from jayne
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courtin the doc [26 Aug 2005|02:23pm]
daer diary,

today not so much to say. just a lot of ded peeple, and a guy who jumpd on me turnin reaver, and then bein arestd by alliance and then not.

it has come to my notis, that doc is afeard of space.

so i trikd him into suitin up and thinkn that he were in space.

it was hylarius. you shoud hav seen his beady littel angry eyes.

I think fer certin he wil want to bugger me now.

if not, i will try fer kaylee.

from jayne.
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[25 Aug 2005|09:53am]
daer diry,

inara says shed rathr run arund serenity nekkid cept for a pig as a hat.

cant tel if thats a yes or no.

hope she dus that one day.

from jayne.
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04 [25 Aug 2005|09:52am]
deer diery

not much hapend today cept i got mysilf shot in the leg

doc doped me. ther wer fairys.

reconsidrin' the buggering now.

don't matter no how becos i think inara mite be hot fer me, but aint sayin nothin dyrect. whore rules and al that.

from jayne.
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03 [25 Aug 2005|01:37am]
der dyry,

the capn aksed me to jump on a train tomoro.

i said ok.

river put the kettle on her hed. it was funy. when im capn, ill kill her quik.

then ill bugger the doc

from jayne
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02 [25 Aug 2005|01:28am]
dir dairy,

i think fer chritsmes i will aks fer a cow.

I like slappin em

from jayne
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01 [25 Aug 2005|01:25am]
dear diry,

today i ate a cat and clened vera and writ my ma.

oh, and sum werd girl unfrozed out of a box.

her brothrs prity ok lookin thow. I got me a cudel.

from jayne.
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